"How God Changed Robert F Kennedy Jr. Forever." YouTube, 10 Jun. 2024, https://youtu.be/PS-cZSO5GOU?si=eb3XRTJs9yftk843
Leadership is often portrayed as grand gestures and bold moves, but at its core, leadership is about the decisions we make every day. The most important of these decisions are often intellectual rather than emotional—deciding to improve, to change, or to lead oneself even when no one else is watching. This commitment to leadership growth is particularly important when someone is overcoming challenges, as Robert F. Kennedy Jr. did on his journey to sobriety, learning how to lead his own life with integrity and resilience.
Behaving With Integrity When No One is Watching
Building Character Through Unseen Actions
One of the biggest lessons in both leadership and leadership growth is the importance of behaving with integrity, even when there’s no audience. It’s easy to do the right thing when you’re being watched, but the real test of character is in the moments when no one is around. Every decision, no matter how small, carries a moral weight. Whether it’s getting out of bed when the alarm rings, making the bed in a hotel room, or putting back a shopping cart, these small acts of discipline and responsibility shape who we are.
In leadership, this translates to making ethical decisions, even if they’re not publicized or rewarded. It’s about recognizing that every action contributes to the kind of leader you become. By consistently choosing the path of integrity, leaders build a strong foundation of trust and authenticity, which ultimately inspires others.
Robert F. Kennedy Jr. often speaks about the importance of these small acts, recounting how his own leadership growth stemmed from seemingly insignificant choices. Whether it was picking up a piece of trash or hanging up clothes in a closet when no one was watching, these small, deliberate actions became the building blocks of his character and leadership.
Character: The Foundation of Leadership
True leadership isn’t about accumulating power or accolades. It’s about building character, which is the only thing that truly endures. Leaders who focus on character don’t need to rely on external validation—they understand that the strength of their leadership comes from within. As Robert F. Kennedy Jr. suggests, the most important thing you do in a day might not be something big or flashy; it could be something as simple as making the right choice when no one is watching.
Overcoming Challenges: Sobriety and Leadership Growth
The Role of Small Decisions in Sobriety
One of the most powerful aspects of leadership is learning how to lead yourself through difficult times. For Robert F. Kennedy Jr., overcoming addiction began with making an intellectual decision to change—a decision grounded in logic and reason. The journey to sobriety, much like leadership, involves making small, incremental changes that add up over time.
Kennedy shares how his decision to get sober was followed by a series of small but significant choices throughout the day. These small victories, like cleaning up after oneself or being mindful of daily habits, were just as important as the larger goal of sobriety. They serve as reminders that leadership growth is built one step at a time, and the process of getting sober is a journey filled with small but crucial decisions.
Learning to Make the Small Things Important
The key to transformation, and indeed to effective leadership growth, is realizing that the small things are often the most important. This shift in mindset allows leaders to focus on building a strong foundation rather than just chasing external success. As Kennedy points out, even something as seemingly trivial as cleaning up a piece of trash or making your bed becomes part of building character and discipline.
For those overcoming addiction or other personal challenges, making these small things important can be life-changing. It’s not just about achieving sobriety, but about reshaping your entire approach to life... by treating every decision, no matter how small, with the care and attention it deserves.
Learning to Live With Discomfort
Facing Discomfort and Growing Through It
Leadership, much like sobriety, often involves navigating discomfort. In life, we are all faced with moments of pain, uncertainty, and challenge. The key is learning how to live with that discomfort rather than trying to escape from it. Leadership growth happens when you learn to sit with uncomfortable feelings and experience them fully, without trying to numb or avoid them.
Robert F. Kennedy Jr. emphasizes how he learned to be still, to accept discomfort, and to allow it to pass. This approach is crucial for leaders as well. Whether it’s facing difficult decisions, dealing with setbacks, or managing conflict, leaders must learn how to navigate discomfort without becoming overwhelmed by it. It’s this ability to remain calm and composed in the face of challenges that sets great leaders apart.
Indifference to Pain and Pleasure
A major aspect of leadership growth is learning to be indifferent to both pain and pleasure. This doesn’t mean becoming numb to emotions, but rather, not being controlled by them. Leaders who are overly reactive to either success or failure often struggle to maintain consistency. By learning to be steady in both good times and bad, leaders can make better decisions, free from the emotional ups and downs that might otherwise cloud their judgment.
For Kennedy, this indifference to pain and pleasure became a critical aspect of his journey. The discipline to avoid instant gratification and to live with the discomfort of delayed reward shaped his ability to lead both himself and others through challenging times. In both addiction recovery and leadership, learning to stay centered in the face of emotional extremes is essential.
The Power of Surrendering
Letting Go of Control
Spiritual surrender, in this context, doesn’t necessarily mean adhering to a specific religious belief. It’s about learning to let go of the need for control and trusting the process of life. Whether you view this in a spiritual sense or simply as a recognition that not everything is within our control, the principle remains the same: by surrendering control, we often find that life unfolds in ways that align with our growth.
Robert F. Kennedy Jr. shares a powerful story of how, after making an intellectual decision to trust in something greater than himself, he began to notice moments of synchronicity—things falling into place in ways he couldn’t have predicted. This can be a powerful lesson for leaders. Rather than trying to force outcomes, leaders who learn to surrender and trust the process often find that things work out better than they could have planned.
Leadership and Higher Purpose
Ultimately, leadership is about more than just achieving goals; it’s about connecting to a higher purpose. For some, this higher purpose may be spiritual, while for others, it may simply be a sense of responsibility toward others or a commitment to personal integrity. Whatever the source, this higher purpose gives leaders the motivation to continue making the right choices, even when it’s difficult.
By focusing on building character, making small decisions with care, and learning to live with discomfort, leaders can cultivate the resilience and strength needed to lead both themselves and others through any challenge.
Conclusion: Leadership Growth Is Built in the Small Moments
Leadership isn’t about grand gestures or public recognition—it’s built in the small, everyday decisions that shape who we are. As Robert F. Kennedy Jr. reminds us, behaving with integrity when no one is watching, learning to make the small things important, and accepting discomfort are the keys to building lasting character. Whether overcoming addiction or simply trying to lead a more meaningful life, the path to true leadership starts with an intellectual decision to change and continues with daily acts of discipline and surrender.
Your thoughts?
Day number 4 - rewatch - staying in the posture of surrender is a miracle zone. Growing up is living with discomfort and let pass through. learn to be still. True leadership starts with an intellectual decision to change and continues with daily acts of discipline and surrender.
Day number 3 - rewatch - ''Let the compliance proceed the evidence''. Every action has a moral impact. The only thing we truly have is our character and who we become in our lifetime.
What struck me most about what RFK JR said was character building endures the test of time. Not the wealth or success left behind which many including myself believes/ed to be the case. Detaching from success and failures - this is my biggest handbrake. I was setting goals based on outcomes rather than behind the actions that would put me in the position to fulfil the goals. Even the intention was something outside my control. How can I set goals within myself? Instead of the intention being to gain a new client (which I cannot control), I can up the probability by - I can shift my intention to micro/small decisions which can be to listen, be present, to surrender…
Wow - this is a value-packed blog post, if I could highlight every single sentence in it, I would.
It is the small decisions that I make when no one else is watching that build character, build leadership and most importantly help me get rid of the need for external validation - BIG ONE FOR ME. THANK YOU!
Surrendering and trusting that God's plan is way better than anything I can imagine or try to control is exactly what I need to hear right now - I am about to give birth anytime now, and having lots of stress around how to manage, what will happen to my clients during my maternity leave, how will I re-integrate in work when…
Day number 2 - time to watch the clip and embody - 👉 treat every decision, no matter how small, with the care and attention it deserves 👈