Impatience can be a major obstacle in leadership and entrepreneurship. However, it’s important to recognize that impatience is not something inherent to our current circumstances. Instead, it is a sensation rooted in past programming, driven by thoughts of either the past or future. By addressing this at its core, we can cultivate a sense of calm and become more present and effective leaders. Let’s dive into the real steps you can take to let go of impatience.
Understanding Impatience: A Sensation from the Past
Before we dive into how to remove impatience, it’s essential to understand where it comes from. Impatience is not a direct response to what's happening in front of you. Instead, it's a reaction based on past conditioning. It often arises when we project past experiences onto the present or worry about future outcomes. This misalignment creates a sensation that pushes us to hurry, stress, and rush decisions.
Accepting that impatience is rooted in past programming is the first step in letting it go. It’s not the present moment that’s causing the urgency you feel. Rather, it’s a mental pattern that can be broken with mindful practice.
Step 1: Accept That Impatience is Not Tied to the Present Moment
One of the keys to removing impatience is to recognize that impatience cannot exist in the present moment. Impatience is always a product of either thinking about the past or worrying about the future. When you're fully present, there’s no space for impatience because you’re not rushing to change what’s already happening.
As a leader, this can be a transformative realization. When you catch yourself feeling rushed or stressed, pause and ask yourself: "Am I fully present, or am I thinking about something that’s not happening right now?" More often than not, you’ll find that impatience stems from worrying about how things should go or reflecting on how they’ve gone wrong before. When you bring your attention back to the present, impatience fades away, allowing you to lead with greater clarity.
How to Stay Present in Leadership
Being present is not just a mental exercise—it’s a habit that can be cultivated. Here are a few ways you can ground yourself in the present moment as you lead:
Mindful Listening: When engaging with team members, focus fully on the conversation without distractions. This not only fosters better relationships but also helps you stay in the moment.
Breathing Techniques: When you feel impatience bubbling up, take a few deep breaths. This simple act can help you reset and bring your mind back to the present.
Set Clear Intentions: Start your day with the intention to stay present, even when tasks or decisions seem overwhelming. Setting this goal from the outset can make it easier to maintain throughout the day.
These methods can be implemented by scheduling 30-minute blocks throughout the day. Individuals can set aside specific blocks during the week to focus entirely on a conversation or practice meditation and breathing, knowing it aligns with their most productive steps according to the schedule.
Step 2: Create Distance Between Yourself and Your Phone
Technology, particularly smartphones, is a major trigger for impatience. The constant notifications, messages, and emails create a sense of urgency that makes it hard to focus on the present. To truly let go of impatience, it’s important to create distance between yourself and your phone.
Why Your Phone Triggers Impatience
Your phone is designed to capture your attention, often triggering a sense of urgency to respond to every notification, email, or message. This constant need for engagement conditions your mind to operate in a state of impatience. Every time you hear or even think of a notification, your brain shifts into "fight or flight" mode, pushing you to act immediately.
This habit reinforces impatience, making it harder to stay calm and focused in the present moment. The more we respond to these distractions, the more our brains become conditioned to seek constant stimulation, further driving impatience in other areas of life, including leadership and decision-making.
How to Create Distance From Your Phone
To break this cycle and start reconditioning your brain toward patience, begin by establishing boundaries with your phone:
Keep Your Phone Outside of Your Bedroom - By leaving your phone outside of your bedroom at night, you prevent the unconscious habit of checking notifications first thing in the morning. This helps create a peaceful environment where you can wake up without the rush of technology. It also sets the tone for the day, allowing you to start your morning focused on yourself rather than reacting to messages and emails.
Designate Phone-Free Times During the Day - Set specific times during your day when you don’t check your phone. For instance, during meetings or focused work periods, put your phone in another room. This allows you to be fully present in the task at hand, making your work more productive and reducing the sense of urgency to multitask.
Turn Off Non-Essential Notifications - Notifications for apps that aren't immediately relevant to your work or leadership role can be a significant distraction. By turning these off, you reduce the mental clutter that contributes to impatience. This also ensures that when you do check your phone, it’s for intentional reasons, not out of habit.
By creating this physical and mental distance from your phone, you take control of how you respond to the stimuli that typically fuel impatience.
Step 3: Recognize That Impatience is a Future or Past Projection
Impatience is often a result of our minds projecting into the future or lingering in the past. For leaders, this can manifest as a constant pressure to achieve goals quickly, meet deadlines, or prevent past mistakes from reoccurring. This forward- or backward-thinking mindset pulls you out of the present, causing stress and tension that clouds your ability to make effective decisions.
Letting Go of Past Programming
Our past experiences heavily influence how we react to situations in the present. If you’ve experienced failure, setbacks, or high-pressure environments, your brain may be conditioned to react with impatience to avoid repeating those experiences. Recognizing that this is a learned response allows you to begin unraveling that conditioning.
Accept that what's causing impatience is not the task in front of you, but rather how your brain is wired to perceive it. By separating your reaction from the reality of the situation, you create space to respond more thoughtfully and patiently.
Bring Yourself Back to the Present
The present moment is free of impatience because impatience is always tied to either what has happened or what might happen. When you bring yourself back to the present, you remove the fuel that drives impatience. This practice not only enhances your ability to lead with clarity, but it also allows you to engage more deeply with your team and your responsibilities.
A practical way to do this is by grounding yourself when you notice impatience creeping in. Ask yourself questions like:
Is this task truly urgent, or am I rushing because of past conditioning?
What can I focus on right now to make the most of this moment?
Am I worried about a future outcome that hasn't even happened yet?
By becoming aware of these mental patterns, you can gently bring your focus back to the present, where you are more empowered to lead effectively.
Reconditioning Yourself for Patience
In leadership, patience is not just about waiting—it’s about removing the barriers that impatience creates. By accepting that impatience is a conditioned response from past experiences, distancing yourself from technology, and grounding yourself in the present moment, you can begin to lead with a calm, focused mindset. This reconditioning not only improves your decision-making but also creates a more balanced, productive environment for you and your team.
Impatience is a habit, and like any habit, it can be changed. With time, mindfulness, and intentional practice, you can shift from a reactive, impatient leader to one who operates with clarity, focus, and presence.
Your thoughts?
We often associate impatience with external factors, but patience should start within—it’s something you build. The power of those 30-minute time blocks lies in knowing you’ve dedicated time to focus on what needs to be done. Distractions like phone notifications or even work messages can create a sense of urgency, that "I need to finish this" rush, which prevents you from being fully present and truly helping others—or even yourself.
There were times when I was so glued to my phone and would react on every single message I had received. Deep down me would go, “hey! It’s not going to work” because those were the times when I was not present in the present. I understand, it’s sooo me, I would spend all my life day-dreaming carrying the consequences of “Impatience” and get nowhere.
I remember the saying- “forget the past, stop worrying about the future, live in the present because it’s the only present you could gift it to yourself.”
Great post, very insightful!
Thankyou Wilson
“Bring Yourself Back to the Present”.
The present moment is free of impatience because impatience is always tied to the what has happened or what might happen. When you bring yourself back to the present, you remove the fuel that drives impatience.
Thank you, this is so helpful!!
That's it.
This is the calling I've been waiting for to finally get rid of my phone in bed.
My Whoop actually wakes me up already, I have no need of an alarm.
It settles it. Bedroom is phone-free from now on. 💪
Looking forward to my phone with less impatience around me! Let's go!
Instead of gaining something called patience, it’s about letting go of everything that doesn’t belong in the present moment and accepting that this is the present moment.
If we had everything go our way then we would surely miss out on magical moments and cocreations. Our best moments have yet to materialise 🎁🙌🏼.