In leadership, understanding and managing emotional triggers is crucial for personal growth and effective team management. Triggers can be subtle, often weaving themselves so deeply into our daily lives that they become part of our personality. Many leaders live in a state of constant agitation, unaware that they are triggered because this has become their norm. Statements like "I'm a perfectionist" or "I just like things properly" often mask underlying triggers that have taken hold. To regain control and move beyond these automatic reactions, it's essential to understand what triggers you and how to manage them effectively.
What Causes Your Triggers?
The first step in managing triggers is recognizing what sets them off. What was said, done, or what situation arose that caused a strong emotional reaction? These triggers can be anything from a comment that hits a nerve to a situation that reminds you of past experiences. Identifying these moments is crucial because it allows you to see the pattern that has formed. Once you recognize these triggers, you can begin to understand their impact on your behavior and your leadership style.
The Role of Past Experiences in Leadership
Often, our triggers are tied to past experiences, particularly those that were emotionally charged or traumatic. For instance, if someone criticizes your work, and it reminds you of a time when you were unfairly judged or reprimanded, that memory can resurface as a trigger. This connection between past and present is a key factor in why certain situations affect us more intensely than others. Understanding this link can help you unpack why specific events trigger you and begin the process of healing from past wounds, which is essential for effective leadership.
Identifying Emotional Patterns in Leadership
In addition to pinpointing specific triggers, it's important for leaders to recognize emotional patterns that emerge in response to them. Do you notice that certain situations consistently lead to feelings of anger, frustration, or sadness? These patterns can serve as clues to underlying issues that need to be addressed. By identifying these recurring emotional responses, you can start to anticipate your reactions and develop strategies to manage them more effectively, enhancing your leadership capabilities.
Calm versus Angry
Where Do Your Triggers Take You?
After identifying your triggers, the next step is understanding where they take you emotionally and mentally.
Fight, Flight, or Immobilization in Leadership
Do your triggers lead you to anger, frustration, or perhaps a sense of helplessness? These reactions often fall into one of three categories: fight, flight, or immobilization. Understanding these responses can help you pinpoint where your triggers are leading you, allowing you to regain control and maintain your leadership effectiveness:
Fight: When you become overly critical or aggressive, you're likely in fight mode. This response is characterized by a surge of adrenaline, causing you to confront the perceived threat head-on. While this can be useful in situations that require assertiveness, it can also lead to unnecessary conflict, especially if the trigger is minor or misinterpreted. Leaders need to be aware of when they are in fight mode to avoid damaging team relationships.
Flight: If you find yourself wanting to escape or avoid the situation, you're in flight mode. This reaction is marked by a desire to distance yourself from the triggering event, whether physically or emotionally. While flight can protect you from harm, it can also lead to avoidance behaviors that prevent you from addressing the root cause of your triggers, which is crucial in leadership roles.
Immobilization: When you feel paralyzed, unable to act, you're in immobilization mode. This response, often associated with feelings of helplessness or despair, can be the most challenging to overcome. Immobilization occurs when the brain perceives a threat as so overwhelming that it shuts down, leaving you feeling stuck or frozen. Leaders who experience this need to develop strategies to re-engage and move forward.
The Impact on Leadership and Mental Health
The fight, flight, or immobilization response is a natural part of the human experience, but when these reactions are triggered frequently or for extended periods, they can take a toll on your mental health. Chronic stress, anxiety, and depression are common outcomes of living in a state of constant reactivity. Recognizing when you're in one of these states is crucial for managing your mental health and ensuring that your emotional responses don't lead to long-term harm. For leaders, this awareness is even more critical as it directly impacts decision-making and team dynamics.
How Long Do You Stay Triggered?
The final step is assessing how long you remain in that triggered state. Do you stay angry for minutes, hours, or even days? Some people remain triggered for so long that it becomes their default state. This prolonged reaction can be detrimental, as it prevents any real change, growth, or learning. Being stuck in this mode can also affect how others perceive you, leading to labels like "hothead" or "perfectionist," when in reality, these are just symptoms of unresolved triggers.
The Consequences of Prolonged Trigger States in Leadership
Remaining in a triggered state for an extended period can have serious consequences, both personally and professionally. Prolonged anger, for example, can lead to strained relationships, as those around you may feel like they are constantly walking on eggshells. In the workplace, this can result in a reputation for being difficult to work with, which can hinder career progression and undermine your leadership effectiveness. On a personal level, prolonged stress can lead to health issues such as high blood pressure, insomnia, and weakened immune function.
Strategies for Shortening Trigger Duration
To avoid the negative impacts of prolonged trigger states, it's important to develop strategies for shortening the duration of these reactions. Mindfulness techniques, such as deep breathing, meditation, or progressive muscle relaxation, can help you calm your nervous system and bring yourself back to a state of equilibrium more quickly. Cognitive-behavioral strategies, such as challenging negative thoughts or reframing the situation, can also be effective in reducing the intensity and duration of your triggered state. Leaders who practice these techniques can maintain a clear mind and make better decisions.
Moving Beyond Reaction to Growth
Living in a constant state of reaction is limiting. It stifles growth and prevents learning. To move beyond this, it's crucial to own your triggers and recognize when you're in a reactive mode. By doing so, you can start to respond consciously rather than reacting automatically. This shift allows for real growth, not just in your personal life but also in your professional endeavors.
Embracing a Growth Mindset in Leadership
A growth mindset, which is the belief that you can develop your abilities and intelligence over time, is essential for moving beyond reaction and towards growth. When you recognize that your triggers are opportunities for learning and self-improvement, you can begin to see them in a more positive light. Instead of viewing them as obstacles, you start to see them as stepping stones on your path to becoming a more resilient and self-aware leader.
Moving the torch...
Owning Your Triggers
Owning your triggers means acknowledging them and taking responsibility for your reactions. It's about being aware of when you're in fight, flight, or immobilization mode and consciously choosing how to respond. This self-awareness can transform how you interact with the world, leading to more constructive outcomes in both your personal and professional life.
Developing a Trigger Action Plan for Leadership
One effective way to own your triggers is to develop a trigger action plan. This plan should outline the steps you'll take when you notice you're being triggered. For example, you might decide that the first step is to pause and take three deep breaths to calm your nervous system. The next step could be to identify the trigger and ask yourself what it's really about. Finally, you might choose to reframe the situation in a way that allows you to respond more calmly and constructively. For leaders, having this plan in place ensures that you can maintain composure and lead effectively, even in challenging situations. What you do in that gap between thought and reaction, which generally is 90 seconds, determines one's future success and relationships.
The Power of Reflection in Leadership
Reflection is another powerful tool for owning your triggers. After a triggering event, take some time to reflect on what happened. What was the trigger? How did you respond? What could you have done differently? This reflection can help you gain insights into your patterns and develop strategies for handling similar situations in the future. Over time, this process of reflection and adjustment can lead to significant personal growth and improved leadership skills.
Jill Bolte Taylor, Harvard brain scientist explains: “When a person has a reaction to something in their environment, there's a 90 second chemical process that happens in the body; after that, any remaining emotional response is just the person choosing to stay in that emotional loop.”
Conclusion: From Reaction to Empowerment in Leadership
By understanding what triggers you, where those triggers take you, and how long you stay there, you can begin to break free from these automatic reactions. This awareness is the key to personal growth, learning, and ultimately leading a more fulfilling life. When you own your triggers, you shift from being at the mercy of your emotions to becoming empowered in your responses. This shift not only enhances your personal well-being but also positively impacts your relationships and professional success.
In leadership, this transformation is even more critical. Triggers are not a sign of weakness but an opportunity for growth. By embracing this perspective, you can transform your triggers from obstacles into catalysts for positive change, leading to more effective leadership and a more resilient, inspired team.
Your thoughts?
Looking for a compass to success- this is it. Emotion based decisions are below the line. Logical decision making is above the line decisions
A 90 second pause from the time you are triggered to the time you respond will open the door for a favourable outcome.
The one who stays calm the longest, wins. Yes it’s a game between you and yourself. Get to know yourself and watch those triggers as they are an opportunity for growth.
Taking responsibility for our triggers shifts our entire LIFE, not just business!! This year especially, I've used Wilson's teachings to be a scientist of myself. Becoming more and more aware of what triggers me, how long i stay there, patterns i repeat and beliefs i've grabbed but should let go.
It's a CONSTANT process. But the more we follow this cycle of trigger + pause then respond, instead of reacting, the more we let go of our triggers and can grab onto higher belief systems :)
WOW great post Wilson - thank you. this reminds of how up until the recent past, I was often living in immobilisation 'some people live in it their whole lives' Thank goodness for Anna, yourself and this network as it's not a great space to be at all, as you say. This post gives me cause for reflection to see just how far I really have come and I thank you for that. The key takeaways other than that from this post: - be observing so you can open your eyes to your triggers - assess your triggers and how you react to them - triggers put me into a state of reaction - which activates old patterns - and growth cannot happen …
“By identifying recurring emotional responses, you can start to anticipate your reactions and develop strategies to manage them more effectively, enhancing your leadership capabilities.”
“Leaders who experience immobilisation need to develop strategies to re-engage and move forward.”
Reaching feelings of helplessness or despair is usually what has me spiral all the way down to shame, via pride, anger and fear. It’s definitely an emotional response being replayed from old wounds and the daily exposure to it has helped me to see the pattern. Now I need to build an action plan so I can remain conscious as I begin to spiral, and challenge the negative thoughts and reframe the situation, in order to reduce the intensity and duration of my…
‘There's a 90 second chemical process that happens in the body; after that, any remaining emotional response is just the person choosing to stay in that emotional loop.” - This is huge!
It is time to connect the dots each and every time I am triggered. What is the trigger? Where does it take you? How long did it take you out for? Great questions to implement.
It is living in a different world when we can take control of our triggers, master the pause, own the internal emotional feelings and then process them.
Thank you for this!